Today, after two years apart, I finally reunited with my dear friend Jasmine — a longtime astrologer and passionate traveler I first met in Northern Europe. About three years ago, she began sharing her insights through astrology articles on her website Chi-nese.com. So naturally, over coffee, I couldn’t resist sitting down with her to dive into one of the most fascinating (and sometimes terrifying) astrology topics: synastry.
When it comes to relationships, synastry shows us how two people’s charts interact. Some aspects create magic, while others… not so much. Jasmine and I had a long chat about the trickiest synastry placements, and here are five she called the “worst offenders.”
Saturn Conjunct Lilith
This one made both of us laugh because it’s such a paradox. Jasmine told me she has seen this aspect in so many couples who keep breaking up only to get back together again. “Saturn works like glue,” she said. “Whatever it touches, it glues. So with Lilith, people can fight, break up, and then return to each other — sometimes for years, even decades.” It’s a cycle of intensity, frustration, and attraction that just doesn’t let go.
The tricky thing about this aspect, Jasmine explained, is that Lilith can feel like a lollipop to a child — irresistible, yet somehow out of reach. The Saturn person often craves the Lilith person more, but Lilith carries that “forbidden fruit” energy. There’s usually something standing in the way, whether it’s an age gap, a cultural difference, or simply circumstances that push them apart. And yet, that same tension is exactly what keeps pulling them back together, again and again.
Saturn Square or Conjunct the Moon
If you’ve ever felt like you’re “never enough” for someone, this aspect might be the culprit. The Moon person often feels unloved or emotionally starved, while the Saturn person might come across as cold, demanding, or constantly critical. Jasmine described it as a “pressure cooker” dynamic — the Moon craves warmth, but Saturn is busy building walls. It’s exhausting if both people aren’t aware of what’s happening.
Pluto Square Venus
Obsessions, power struggles, and possessiveness — welcome to Pluto square Venus. Jasmine told me this is one of the most magnetic but dangerous aspects. The Venus person feels drawn in, almost helpless against the intensity of the Pluto person, who can become controlling or manipulative. It’s intoxicating but often toxic, and it takes a lot of maturity to make it work.
Mars Square Venus
At first glance, this doesn’t sound too bad, right? Mars and Venus are about passion, after all. But when they clash in a square, that passion can turn into arguments, aggression, and constant friction. Jasmine explained that while the chemistry is undeniable, the energy often swings between hot attraction and heated fights. It’s a classic love-hate aspect — thrilling but draining.
Neptune Square Mercury
If you’ve ever dealt with confusing conversations, mixed signals, or even dishonesty in a relationship, Neptune square Mercury might be the reason. Jasmine said this aspect can bring misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, or in the worst cases — lies and cheating. The Neptune person might idealize or mislead, while the Mercury person feels like they can never pin down the truth. Over time, trust becomes the biggest casualty.
Out of curiosity, I pulled up the chart between me and my ex, and funnily enough — there it was, that very aspect staring back at us.
The Cup is Empty
As we set down our empty coffee cups, Jasmine smiled and said, “Just because you have these aspects doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Not at all! They simply create challenges that are hard to ignore.” She reminded me that awareness is everything — once you recognize the patterns, you can choose how to navigate them. Still, we both agreed as we wrapped up our chat: these aspects are definitely not for the faint-hearted.
If you’d like to dive deeper into astrology, visit Jasmine’s astrology blog Chi-nese.com. And if you enjoy little coffee talks like this, let me know — I’ll happily bring you along for the next one!
